5 October 2023

You can’t!!!

Let’s talk bikes first. They are everywhere!! If they are not transporting a very assertive/aggressive cyclist (power-dressed in high heels and designer clothes), they are chained to bridges, railings, fences and sign posts.

Alternatively, they are on the bottom of the canal.

If they had floatation devices, I’m sure they’d even be on the water. But that’s where the boats come in! The boats rule the waterways, the bikes rule the cycleways (and the roads for that matter) and heaven help anyone else.

After a pretty ordinary night of not much sleep, thanks to some inconsiderate fellow travellers, we had a quick breakfast and headed off to explore more of Amsterdam.

That’s where the bikes come in. As pedestrians, we were cannon fodder. As tourists, we were sitting ducks!

Not only do we have to check for cars (remembering to look the other way), check the pedestrian crossing situation (Is it controlled by traffic lights or not) , but we also have to have eyes in the back of our heads to account for speeding cyclists turning right, left, or speeding straight ahead on both the cycleways and the roads (and the footpaths!) aggressively dinging their bell should you be in their sights. Throw into the mix, the scooter and motorbike riders, and it’s absolute mayhem. Grahame and I have become a good team. I go to step in front of a speeding cyclist, he grabs me just in time. He steps onto a red lighted pedestrian crossing and I reciprocate the favour.

We thought we were safe down by a canal this morning, when a passive/aggressive cyclist dinged her bell and sweetly told us we were walking down the bike lane. Sorry!! Sorry!!! Sorry!!!!!!

We’ve since been told that bike lanes are usually red in colour, and cyclists have a saying about pedestrians: “If it’s red, you’re dead!” They say that the bike lanes are painted with the blood of tourists!

We survived the walk to the Rijksmuseum, our goal for this morning, just!

We were safe inside the museum, so we stayed there for three whole hours. Wow!! What a place.

The Rijksmuseum is the national museum, jam packed with all things Dutch. One of its biggest draw cards is Rembrandt’s “The Nightwatch” The massive painting is housed in its own hall, surrounded by a huge glass cage and has special vibration devices monitoring the condition of the canvas at all times. Said to be priceless, I found a 2020 estimation of its value at over $500 million.

Of course there were other Rembrandt paintings to see. (I’m sure I will get a lesson on these when I get home. Thanks Jen!)

Van Gogh also made an appearance, which is nice given there’s a Van Gogh Museum next door and I bet they would like to have him all to themselves.

There was this one too, which was creating a bit of a fuss.

Later in the day we saw this “Reproduction” advertising special running shoes for the upcoming marathon! I wonder what Vermeer would think?

The Rijksmuseum itself was a beautiful building.

But probably the most impressive “Gallery” was that of the library filled with all things art and art history.

Grahame saw this and interpreted it as a realistic portrayal of the nasty swans he has met on previous canal trips. He applauded the artist for his truth telling. Apparently, the symbolism goes far deeper, but to us, it’s a good painting of an angry swan!! ( Sorry Jen!)

There was, of course, heaps of other beautiful stuff and we thoroughly enjoyed looking at it.

We liked this one …. a depiction of the Protestants v the Catholics fishing for souls. At the time of the painting, the protestants were winning!!!

And for a little nostalgia, we were excited to find Dirk Hartogs 1616 Pewter plate which he engraved and nailed to a pole on the west coast of Australia. It stood there for 80 years before another sea captain retrieved it and brought it back to the Netherlands.

Three hours was enough for us. We were developing Museum fatigue and needed to get out in the fresh air. A whole new game of “Avoid the cyclist” could begin.

The weather had improved and the sun was shining. Time for a canal cruise methinks!!

But before we boarded our vessel and took on the boat super highway, I was pretty pleased to be the first to find a pair of Dutch Clogs. Admittedly they were used to promote a little cheese shop, but they still count on the “First to see” tally.

Grahame had booked us on an hour long Cheese and Wine Canal tour. It was now that we were introduced to the canal super highway.

There were boat traffic jams at almost every junction, as everyone who wasn’t cycling a bike had taken to the water. We enjoyed the wine and cheese as we negotiated the waterways, swans and other canal boats.

The guide was not only informative and funny but he kept our glasses full, so the hour went all too quickly. I take my hat off to our “skipper” who managed to avoid all the other boat traffic and negotiate the tight bends before pulling up expertly at our final wharf.

We accidentally happened across Dam Square and the Royal Palace while on the search for a bottle shop. (All that wine on the barge had given us an idea for tonight’s dinner)

The lovely young men in blue explained that there had been a special awards ceremony in the palace and we got to watch the awardees leave via the red carpet. Interestingly, one minute after the last of the awardees left , the red carpet was rolled up and there was lots of fist pumping and hand shaking for a job well done by those left behind.

So it had been a big day, and we decided a bottle of wine and some take away dinner on the roof of our barge was in order.

We headed home and watched the light fade and the city lights come on.

The evening light was gorgeous. We simply had to go for one more walk.

And it was our best walk of the day!! All the cyclists had gone home to bed!!